Day 2: Open Like a Flower Petal Blooming

The 60-Day Challenge began on Monday. I took class last night for the first time in a year. Tonight I signed up for the Challenge. So after I finished class tonight I wrote my name on the chart, put an X through Monday, put a check for Tuesday, and a big fat check for today. Here I am.

"Here I am" was also the first thing I mouthed to the universe as I stretched out my hips and put my forehead to the mat in the dark before class began. I could feel the intense heat whispering across my back, could hear the door open and close as others came in to spread out their mats, could smell the humidity from the last class. "Here I am. Please help me get through this class with some semblance of grace and I will try to let go and allow that grace room to happen."

I'm 41 and I'm beginning to see and feel the effects of it. I've been lazy and in love and as happy as I've ever been, but I haven't been treating my body with any respect and it shows. No waist, blemished skin, interrupted sleep, hips that hurt after a half-hour walk, migraines, and a recent bout with a cold that turned into a nasty sinus infection. I NEVER get sick. And the body is the temple of the spirit. It was time to go back to Bikram.

Bikram Yoga fixes everything in my life. It takes care of what I eat and how much, it forces me to drink the water I'm supposed to be providing my body and more, it tones everything, makes me strong, and gives me self-confidence like it's going out of style. Because I've had some AMAZING teachers, it requires me to be focused, calm, and correct. Happily, those benefits tend to spill over into the rest of life.

So go ahead and ask: "If Bikram Yoga is so wonderful for you, why do you keep running away from it?" Good question. Because I'm naturally lazy. Because {as one friend once put it} the "All or Nothing Lizard" has a death grip on my shoulder and once I take a few days off that's it. Because I have a million and one excuses: too hot, too tired, my whole life can't be about Bikram, I don't have the money, my feet hurt, etc.

Thus, the 60-Day Challenge. I can relax now. There will be no internal struggle every day about how I need to go to yoga but I don't want to go to yoga. For the next 57 days I have to be on the mat and not going is no longer an option. Once I'm at the studio all I have to do is listen to the teacher, do what she says, and allow grace to open me -- like a flower petal blooming.

Can you tell it's the first night?