Class 45: The End of the Challenge

So then what happened?

Sorry I've been gone so long. I not only did not make it to the 4:00 p.m. class on Sunday, I didn't make it back to class until Wednesday. 10 days and a 90-minute deep tissue massage later, and I can still feel my tight left hamstring, a knot in my glute, and occasionally, a twinge in my hip and psoas. I did make it back to class last Wednesday. Kyle was teaching and I really wanted to get one last class in before the challenge ended. Finish on Class #45 and a better note than snot-nosed sobbing. Kyle was great. She took one look at me when I walked in and said "You look completely freaked out. It's going to be okay. Just enjoy being back in the heat. If it hurts, don't do it and I'll let you know which ones are likely to be tough. Go get on the hot side."

And I did, and she did and I felt MUCH better. There were many postures I couldn't do at all, but some that surprised me. The heat did feel good and so did being able to complete class #45. Kyle yelled at one point "That Pada Hastasana does not belong to someone with an injured lower back!" And that made me smile even though it wasn't my normal expression of the posture.

I was off for Good Friday and decided to return for a massage. I could feel the lump in my hamstring when she got to it and learned a lot about how all those muscles connect. It continues to ache though, so I am still contemplating a trip to the chiropractor. There is a stubborn part of me that continues to think "Bikram Yoga is supposed to fix everything. Why can't it fix this?" And maybe it can over time.

I returned for Kyle's Easter Sunday extravaganza, which was hilarious. Upon entering the studio, we were instructed to look for a yellow egg {complete with smiley faces}. Inside was a fireball {of course}. Kyle had on bunny ears and regaled us with rabbit puns and Easter stories throughout the entire class. For several postures we had to balance the egg on our bodies or reach for it with our heads. The second part of Awkward was a contest to see who could hold the position the longest. Viann's Awkward was a beauty to behold and she walked away with a gift bag of tulips, candy and yoga goodies.

The whole thing was fun and wonderful, but still very difficult for me. It seems as though all the postures that I'm good at {and therefore love} are the ones I struggle with the most now. Pada Hastasana, Standing Separate Leg Stretching, Head to Knee and Stretching Pose are all nightmarish. My body just doesn't want to do the forward stretches. I am learning to love the poses I can do. J.R. said to me {partly in jest} that maybe the universe wants me to learn to love ALL the poses. Lynne would say, "No expectations!" I am certainly being tested. When I was in class on Sunday, miserable because I hurt and I wanted to do Rabbit, I thought longingly of the days when the only pain was from playing the edge of the posture. But yoga is not about the postures. And this seems to be a point the Universe wants to drive home now.

So now what?

It's amazing how much more room my life seems to have inside it now that the challenge is over. I cooked dinner last for us last night and it was for the first time in over a month. This is something I normally love to do, but the 7:00 p.m. classes made impossible. I've been craving time to read, or to work late and now I can do those things. It's tremendously freeing. At the same time, I miss the yoga when I'm not there for two days in a row. Even though my class total for the 60-Day Challenge only turned out to be 45, I feel like a tremendous success. I never even thought I'd attempt a 30-Day Challenge and here I am, two months later wondering how I can make this yoga a permanent part of my life. I need it. And that was really the goal for me. It's good to be a part of something that stretches you every time you do it and I'm not talking about the physicality of it. The challenge is over but the journey is not.

I'll be back in class tomorrow night ready to try it all again! And I'll continue to post here, although not every night. Thanks to all of you for coming along for the ride. It does make a HUGE difference!

Namaste.